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Jokes and Funny Stories

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Here are some jokes and very funny, but true, stories we have gathered from America about things people have said! Please email us with any new jokes or funny stories you have to add to our collection, you might just make another parents day a little brighter


A polar bear walks into a bar, he pauses to consider his choice of beverage.

The bar man says "Whats with the big pause??!"

The polar bear holds up his paws and says "What, these big things, I've had them all my life"

Funny Stories

1) I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"   I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word....he knew better.

Melinda Lowe, 39, Texas

2) I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said "I think I prefer playing with men's balls."

Colleen Collins,31, Ferndale, MI

3) My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day my sister has never let me forget.

Faye Emerick,34, Ellerslie, MD

4) A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checkout she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE 13, TAMPAX SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word Tampax for Thumbtacks. In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom, "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"

Diane E. Amov

5) This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any? We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!


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